brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
