(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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