smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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