we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
