Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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