and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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