she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
