Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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