I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
