I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Come back. Shots need mouths.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
