I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
