Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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