Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
