did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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