I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize