ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
