Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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