I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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