stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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