He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
