I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
