You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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