My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
