i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
