Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
