Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
