Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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