do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
