Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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