I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
