i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
