he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
