R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
