you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
