Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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