Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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