Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
