My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
