omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
