He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
