Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize