He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
