Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just pee around me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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