My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
