I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
