He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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