Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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