I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
