My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize