I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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