There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
