woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
