Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
