You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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