girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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