I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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