so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize