Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
