Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
