I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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